yippe skipee

Good News ladies and gentlemen (although I believe the only gentleman reading this blog to be my husband and that viewing is spotty at best) I've been designated to design and host the annual Blue and Gold Banquet for Eagle's scout troop. It all went down like this.

Setting the Scene:
Mom, Dad and Simi-Loo dropping Eagle off at scouts 4 Monday's ago.
"Hurry up and leave so we can have some fun." My dear, precious 8 year old tells me

"No prob Bob, we'll be out of your hair in no time. Let me go over the ground rules with you again, don't set your den leader on fire, insult the other mommies, or use blow darts skills on any living thing. Got it kiddo?"

As we were leaving the building my thoughts of shopping at the near by mall, sipping a Soy Green Tea Latte with sugar-free vanilla syrup chatting with Mr. Johnson about the RV trip we say we'll take but never will next summer were filling my mind; the den leader snags me with my hand on the door.

"You know we have a no drop policy here."

"What? Then what will I do with myself for the next 2 1/2 hours?" I whine seeing that my green tea latte will have to wait until tomorrow.

"Are you good with scissors and tape?"

"I no longer inflict injury on myself using those items if that's what you mean."

"Great, your hired to plan, decorate, cook, prepare awards, and invite 230 people to the Blue and Gold Banquet you will throw in February."

"Oh, no I don't think so." pressing harder on the door with scared rabbit eyes darting to the hills to see where my help will come from. My own words surprise me seeing as usually I can't say no to a man in a uniform...especially khaki.

Then there they are: Sadie and Lucy. My saving graces. Sadie is an art major with excitement for all things Martha Stewart, never met a stranger and is quite possibly the only other person on the planet that gets my dark, sarcastic humor. Of course, I'm loving her. And, well Lucy just looks mean so I think she'll get the job done no matter the cost.....cutting child labor laws, cane beatings to increase productivity,  and she uses the word "disobedient" in every sentence. Which for the record is my all time least favorite word, it just hurts my ears. I yearn for the day when my name and disobedient are used in the same sentence coming from her mouth. You'll wish you brought your video camera. Hello YouTube.com this is Elizabeth Johnson coming like a spider monkey at some poor lady.

Thankfully Sadie commits and Lucy with some stipulations. Lucy says as long as she doesn't have to use her computer to communicate, make any craft and under no circumstances crack a smile she's in.  I am already planning a special recognition Mommy badge for her.

This Blue and Gold Banquet is my big break. I finally get to give recognition to those to whom it's due. I have visions of teary slide shows set to the music of Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings and possibly Whitney Houston's' I will Always Love You or something equally as sappy and annoying. But those are just my brainstorming ideas. I'm sure I'll think of something to fully exalt all the moms.

Of course I'll upload the final product on YouTube.....Mr. Johnson is hoping for one video but depending on the use of a verb coming from a certain person's mouth there may be two videos to upload.