Becoming a stronger leader

There was a man in the locker room of my local YMCA two days ago while I was changing clothes after my workout. That wasn't as alarming as my reaction to the mistaken intruder. For 4 full minutes I contemplated if I should inform him that he has inadvertently picked the wrong locker room. I was afraid that I would embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable.

Totally absurd, I know.

The fact is I've become soft. I don't like being the outspoken, assertive woman. I am far too comfortable in my role of submissive, compassionate, and humble woman (a nice way of saying I avoid ALL confrontation). As Mr. Johnson informs me; I haven't always been this way. In my past life I was aggressive, loud mouthed, and dominating. There was never a problem with me speaking my mind. Unfortunately, 'speaking my mind' happened far too often and got into heaps of trouble. Thankfully, I learned from my past indisgressions but I have erred on the other extreme: avoidance.

I avoid difficult conversations, I let my boarders take advantage of me, I am far too quick to take blame for something that isn't my fault just to make peace.

The problem is I can't find the appropriate relationship boundaries.

Instead of confront the boundary crosser I make excuses:
1. Maybe they were having a bad day
2. Possibly, this person needed to vent and now that they did everything will be good again
3. I need to be humble and keep a quite spirit
4. Just give it time...it will blow over
5. Jesus would just listen and address their concerns with a humble quite spirit
6. I want to please people so that I can continue to work so that our finances aren't a problem. After all my hubby works under extremely demanding pressure and he doesn't complain.
7. There is probably something wrong with me because I feel this way

Over time these excuses have burdened me. And here's what's happened:
1. I stay in my house and discourage my children from playing outside because I don't want to talk or see a boarder. (Avoidance)
2. I've had a habitual eye twitch for 3 weeks. Every time I think about these problem relationships my eye spasms.  (internalizing)
3. I am afraid to make decisions because I might rock the boat and upset others. (depression)

Not good, my friends, not good. It ends today.

Here's the truth:
1. Jesus got ticked as heck sometimes.
2. I LIVE at my house....these boarders don't. They can go, I can't.
3. Letting people dump on me isn't okay.
4. Just because someone has a strong opinion on a topic doesn't make him/her right.
5. Honesty is essential

I did finally tell the man in the locker room to scoot....but ever so politely and cautiously.  I can do the same today with the other people in my life who need a slice of Elizabeth's Reality. Argh, I've already got a knot in my stomach.