How do you like them apples?

I'm full....I've had my fair share of humble pie and I'm about ready to yak because I am so full.

Let me set the scene:
Myself and a person, who shall remain nameless (No, it's not Mr. Johnson or a member of my family), had a minor run in. I was overly confident in my side of the argument and felt very justified with my pithy, arrogant point of view. Apparently, my personality knows no natural humbleness or grace or tact or cooperation.

I let my inner piranha out ready to pick a fight.

Judging from the response I received back I quickly observed that I was over my head in hot water. It's not that I was clearly wrong but my style of attack didn't have the intended reaction I was looking for, mainly, intimidation leading directly into complete submission. No, what I did was rattle the cage of a beast with 14 inch fangs, rabid eyes and long wavy hair to whom it never occurred to be afraid of me.

oops....I need a new plan.

Now deep in the middle of a possible relationship nuclear war I decide I'd like to reevaluate my attitude. I know my mouth gets me into trouble far more often than should be legal. I decided to shut my face.

Funny thing, after, get this, I LISTEN I find out we were approaching the same problem with very similar solution. I just hadn't realized it because it's hard to hear the calm of a babbling brook (other person) over the roar of a steam engine (that would be me).

So here's what I learned...you probably already know this because you are far more mature than I:

1. Shut my face (no interrupting, no rolling eyes, no picking my nose, no texting while resolving conflict)
2. Listen without trying to form a defense ( "Oh yeah? Well you're ugly")
3. Make an effort to find what we have in common
4. Pick one thing at a time to resolve
5. Don't make it personal (NO name calling, 'your momma jokes', or attacking ones hair styling preferences)
6. This really should be the number one rule.....DO NOT go looking for a fight. Sounds obvious enough but I tend to do it more frequently than I will admit.

Good News:
Nuclear Winter was avoided and a relationship remains intact. But becoming a more humble person has wounded my pride, which needed to be taken down a notch or two or ten. I so badly wanted to tell the person with whom I was in disagreement what was wrong with his/her thinking in a superior, condescending voice but I realized today it's more important to respect the person than be 'right'.

bummer.

I'm going to lick my wounds and play Wii Resort with my kids and try not to feel sorry for myself and shut my mouth. Now's a good time to call and chat....I'll let you do all the talking :)