yikes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I thought I already learned this lesson but here it is again: patience. Today was one of those days that would be better off spent sleeping until noon, eat nothing but popcorn and chocolate and watching a good chick flick.

For starters I compared myself to another and didn't measure up ......I wasn't even in the same galaxy. I am reminded of the Chinese Proverb "Don't compare yourself to another or you will become vain or bitter." I have arrived today at bitter. So in effort to level the playing field with another human being I mentally decided that I was better than them in some way (cuter, skinnier, smarter, etc.. it's all bad). Why in the world did I not fully appreciate, accept and allow another person to have the spot light and let their light shine....nope, not me today.

Secondly, today was a nasty, rainy, dreary, cold day and for some reason that equated in my mind "Hurry up, let's accomplish everything *I* ever wanted to do in one afternoon and see if I can out shine that other person." A recipe for hurt feelings, indifference, and distress. Even in the midst I thought, "whoa Nelly...back off" but no, I am a hard of hearing human that must learn from mistakes not from innate knowledge.

So here I am regretting and wondering how to make it right when I realize in the end, today *really* taught me about patience but above all forgiveness. It's completely undeserved making it hard for me to accept and resist creeping back into the world of I-am-such-an-idiot. But I have a plan....I am going back to the old me the one that accepts unconditionally, respects different styles and time lines, takes glory in seeing the goodness of another, loves the joy of *others* shinning.

I'll let my light shine because tomorrow when I wake I have hope that it's a new day and I won't make the same mistakes I made today. Thank GOD.