Oh I could never....

I've heard it quite often over the past year : "oh, I could never __________" fill in the blank with almost anything but the number one hitter has been homeschool. Smile, nod, and listen while the speaker tells me why they can't. But they are answering a question I never asked nor do I really care. It's a personal decision and I don't expect everyone to have the same opinion as me. What I've come to find is can't isn't really the truth. The truth is I don't want to. And they are really requesting that I agree with their cant's as a way of letting them off the hook.

All this is a funny sideline for me during conversations. An internal monologue which isn't as much fun as true communication. It happened this weekend about finances. Oh, I can't do A, B, C and D. Be honest and say "I don't want to do A, B, C, and D". It's much more authentic and easier to respect.

Of course, once I believe I have it figured out I have to practice it. Cruising through Wal-Mart I ran into a distant relative who said that her Mother-in-Law was moving in with her. WOW, what was the first thing that rolled through my brain? I'll give you two guesses but you'll only need one. "Oh, I can't....." but I caught myself. It's not that I am physically unable to do that, it's that at the heart I don't want to do it, but I would. So instead of telling her why I couldn't I shut my face and didn't answer a question she didn't ask. Instead respect the decision she made and try to learn from this person who is obviously far more mature, loving, docile, and nurturing than I.

Authenticity is noble and some to aspire to and I want it. But I want it with love and gentleness. My prayer today is for more authenticity.