MOM SCOUTS

Listen up Boy Scouts of America organization. I love you, I love everything about you. Yes, I even love that you teach my son marketing and sales through overpriced popcorn fundraisers. However, that's not the direction I'm going with this blog post today.

BSA, you've over looked the real achiever, it's not the scout it's the scout mom. I've got some ideas on recognizing the mom behind the scout. Currently in scouting achievements are recognized by badges and belt loops. I think we should continue the tradition with the mommies. Instead of a khaki vest we'll take a beauty pageant sash decorated with hard-earned badges.

This week I've earned a few of my own. Here's some highlights.
1. Orienteering. Otherwise known as finding the scout store. According to the scout website the closest store to my front door is 15.2 miles. Two turns, 3 local interviews, and 3 circles around rural Cabarrus, Iredell and Rowan Counties we arrived unscathed but mildly disoriented at the store. Actual driving time 1.25 hours one way.

2. Foreign Language Studies. Those who have been in scouting a while (more than 20 minutes) have a secret language. It's quite similar to Trekkie Cling-on. I had to get a scout lingo book to decipher my conversations with the scout master. Like a foreign exchange student I frantically flipped through my translation dictionary looking for the right word to use as not to embarrass myself. I am still fuzzy on what an akela does or is.

3. Sewing. Badges, pack numbers, county strip, and numerous other things don't magically get attached to the shirt. That was a total surprise to me. When I realized I'd have to use a needle and thread I was frantic for a way out. Apparently it's frowned upon to use safety pins or super glue to attach the labels. I know this because the clerk at the scout store rolled her eyes and twisted her lips as if I was a helpless case when I innocently asked that question.

4. Popcorn Princess. I sat through two informational popcorn meetings which left me confused and overwhelmed. But what I do know is we are being shipped $350 worth of popcorn to sell over the next month. So if you know me personally you'll be getting popcorn for your birthday, Christmas and very possibly your wedding anniversary if we don't sell this corn. You lucky duck. It really pays big to be my friend.

I really pumped about my upcoming badge ceremony. I'm not sure the scout master will feel the same way. We'll discuss it on our weekend camping trip in a few weeks. I'm passionate so he'll come around.