I stumbled across these questions by John Wesley by accident several months ago and they reminded me of the 20 questions survey that gets passed around via email. I love those questionnaires, not to fill them out, but to read others answers. I like these questions much better than 'what your favorite alcoholic drink' or 'what's your middle name.'  I intend to ask myself these questions everyday for the next year and see how far I will grow. As the saying goes: "Don't you judge me" it's only my first day.

1.Am I creating the impression that I am better than I am?
   Not today but yes I have many, many times before.
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words?
    Yes, maybe too honest and not enough love.
3. Do I break confidence---tell the secrets of others?
    No.
4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, habits.
   Yes. Today it's my hair.
5. Can I be trusted?
   Yes.
6. Am I self conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
     nope  
7. Did God's Word live in me today?
   I like to think so.
8.Am I enjoying my prayer time?
   No. not at all. This is where it gets real peeps. I am in a dark place with prayer. I wonder, does it matter?
Pray for me.
9. When was the last time I shared my faith?
  With a horse boarder yesterday.
10. Do I pray about the money I spend?
   Yes. I pray that I won't spend money or blow the budget.
11. Do I go to bed and wake on time?
   Yes.
12. Do I disobey God in anything?
  No. Not that I am aware of
13. Do I have an uneasy conscience?
  Yes. I think I stole hay from an uncle-in-law and I wonder if I am a good enough mom.
14. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
   Yes. Email me and I'll be happy to share.
15. Am I jealous, impure, critical, touchy, irritable, or distrustful?
   Jealous of a woman in Harris Teeter tonight with beautiful hair (I am a slave to hair) and I am a little irritable teaching my 5 year old to read and I am ashamed of that.
16. Am I proud?
  No.
17. How do I spend my spare time?
  Reading and cleaning. I wish it were playing games with my kids or teaching them a new skill like sewing or knitting.
18. Do I thank God I'm not like others?
  No.
19. Is there anyone I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, disregard or resent?
  No, yes, no, yes, yes, and yes. I have to get the 'yes' number down on this question......
20. Do I grumble and complain?
  Not today.
21. Is Christ real to me?
  The church answer is 'yes, of course' but the reality of my circumstances makes me question my faith today.

Day one is always the hardest...my momma said there would be days like this....